Helping Children Cope with Divorce
This year about one million children will experience a family divorce. About 50% of marriages end in divorce, which means one-third of the children, will live in a single parent household for part of their childhood. Divorce is distressing for children; but many mental health professionals are seeing divorce as a difficult experience on the path to growth, rather than a tragedy from which there is no recovery. The effects of divorce vary from one family to the next. Initially, children may experience anger, sadness, loneliness, and confusion. Schoolwork or performance may suffer for a period of weeks, but over time most children adjust to their changing home life.
What Can I Do As a Parent?
- Inform your child’s teacher about the changes in your family home. If a student seems distressed over a period of weeks or if schoolwork declines, a referral to the school social worker or guidance counselor may be helpful. Divorce Groups are available in some elementary schools. Check with your school social worker.
- Reassure and support your child that both parents still love him/her and want to take care of him/her, and that he/she did not cause the divorce.
- Try not to decrease the amount of time you are spending with him/her.
- Don’t expect your child to share all of his/her feelings about divorce: Your child may be apprehensive about letting you know that he misses his/her parent.
- Maintain consistency as much as possible in the child’s activities and relationships.
- Plan enjoyable outings.
- Don’t criticize the absent parent, or share adult concerns about financial problems or conflict areas.
Community Resources
- Surviving Divorce and Single Parent Support Group
789-7454 (Lynn Ruohomaki) - Upper Michigan Behavioral Health
789-1596 - Catholic Social Services
786-7212 - Pathways
786-6441
